I Am Not Hero

“I’m only a man,
In a funny red sheet.
I’m only a man,
Looking for a dream.

I’m only a man,
In a funny red sheet.
And it’s not easy…

Its not easy to be…me.”

(Five for Fighting - Superman)

For the first time in my whole time blogging, I tried to write a blog in english. Any comments related to grammar mistakes, vocabulary will not be approved (Tssaaaaaah…). Okey, I have Oxford dictionary and little help from Google Translate. This writing begins after watching The Green Hornet, the weirdest superhero movie I've ever seen.

If I had allowed to rate this movie so I can surely say that if Superman, Batman, Spiderman, X-Men includes superhero class A  then The Green Hornet is superhero class B.

Superheroes are heroes who make even bigger splashes. I grew up watching movies, following the exploits of Superman, Batman, Spiderman, the X-Men, and others of their ilk. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a superhero. Superman was my favorite (still is), but others were good too. I used to wore praying sarong at my back so as Superman costume .

Jubah Sarung (Ilustrated by ~inderkmprt)

Perhaps being superhero is impossible, but there are plenty of real-world superheroes. Firefighters and police officers are heroes. Doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals are heroes. Teachers are heroes. 

The thing that has always stuck with me about superheroes is the lonely life they lead. Both in movies and the real world, superheroes are often alone. Dedicated to their work, dedicated to humanity as a whole, they sacrifice their personal relationships and friendships. They love the whole world, which prevents them from getting too close to individuals.

Do you think the Superman ever gets lonely? Do you think, in the darkest night, he reaches his hand out, searching for a lover that has never been there? Do you wonder if he misses having grandkids to bounce on his knee, or just a friend to sit on the front porch and drink black coffee with? 

Ilustrated by : crypt-orchid.blogspot.com

It must be lonely to be a superhero, even an enlightened one.

I think that’s why I identify with superheroes, both in comic books and in real-life. I feel their pain. I know what it means to be lonely, to be different, to be an outsider. I know what it means to be misunderstood, to be taken for granted. I know what it means to be excluded, to be on the outside looking in on life. Oh yes, I know these things intimately. It’s just about the only thing I have ever known in my life.

And I think, maybe I’m just meant to be lonely. I’m not a superhero, but maybe, like them, I am meant to love humanity as a whole instead of individually. Maybe I should give up on romantic love, and just share spiritual love with all my brothers and sisters around the world. To spread the love of the divine through teaching or spreading loving kindness or doing good deeds for people in need. To show people that we are all children of the same Universe.

Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to do, but I lack the courage and the strength to be a superhero. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m tired of being isolated, of being excluded. I’m tired of being left behind and watching everyone else having fun from a distance.

Love Always

-= Yudie =-

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